Earlier today I came across, and retweeted, the article 10 Unusual Things Single Moms Find Sexy In a Man written by Lisa Bien on DivorcedMoms.com. After reading the post I wondered what the male version of Lisa’s list might be. What is it that we single dads find most sexy in a woman?
So I ran right out, got a coffee, and sat right back down to think about it. Unlike Lisa’s list, these eight tips (Lisa’s also work in the opposite direction, so think of this list as 11 through 18) are not based on interviews with other single dads, and are definitely not peer reviewed. They can probably be viewed more as Divorced Dad 101’s list of things he was looking for in a woman when he began dating after almost 20 years of marriage. I did notice that talking about yourself in the third person did not make Lisa’s top 10 sexy man things. Damn!
So, dear reader, please take this list with a grain of salt. Divorced Dad 101 dated for a grand total of 2 months before finding his sexy girlfriend, who in two years has not yet dumped him despite his occasional use of the third person when talking about himself.
- Have a look. To date a single dad you have to have an appearance. Or at minimum, make an appearance. We find it very sexy when you let us look at you and don’t run away. And please know that you have the exact look that some single dad is looking for. The key to being attractive, is feeling attractive. Cliche, I know. Easier said than done, I know. But…
- Confidence is a turn on. Trust me when I tell you that I know how it feels to be thrown away, and have your confidence shot down to nothing. The first date I had post-divorce I almost didn’t make it out of the house (actually my parents’ house…40 years old and living out of my parents’ house…what every woman finds sexy…right?). Sometimes confidence is nothing more than convincing yourself that you can take a first step (put one pant leg on, then the other). And confidence doesn’t mean that you know what you are doing every single moment that you are with us. However, put yourself down too much and we will move on.
- Believe that dads are real parents. Women wear the burden of a society that believes in the myth of the perfect mom that does everything right. Men wear the burden of a society that believes that dads couldn’t parent their kids out of a burlap bag after getting them lost in there. The reality is that we moms and dads have no clue what we are doing, until we do. Give us single dads some props when you see us do a particularly good tuck-in, and the cuddling on the couch after the kids are in bed will be especially cuddly. Hopefully the kids are actually asleep.
- Don’t try to be something you are not. Have you ever noticed how many women love, truly LOVE, I mean LUV serving kielbasa and beer to their male friends while watching football? I mean, I am Polish, and kielbasa is one of my main food groups, but I am under no illusion that 1 in 2 women on the on-line dating sites actually want to serve it to me. Your sexiness comes through when you are you, and we know it.
- Have kids. This one probably isn’t true for every single dad, but when I was dating I was looking for a woman who had similar life experiences to me. When I began dating I had already been a parent for over 15 years. I couldn’t imagine being able to relate to someone who never had children. Moms are sexy in a “I know there are more important things in life than myself, and even though I will eat your face if you hurt my children, I will do my best to not think of the kids when we are alone” sort of way.
- Don’t laugh at us…too much. Having you join us on an adventure, or trying out a fantasy, excites us to no end. But at our age fantasies don’t always work out as we had imagined. Ending up in the conservation land pond because, you know, fooling around in a car is sexy until the parking brake is no longer parking, is the sort of adventure that can lead to a divorced dad questioning his skills of seduction. So laugh about it together…but not too much.
- Help a dad out. At some point your single dad will text you from the local Kmart, desperately trying to figure out how to help his thirteen year old daughter choose from the thousands of options in the feminine hygiene aisle. Help a dad out. The same applies with pant sizes (what the heck does 3/27 mean?). Your understanding of these mysteries, and willingness to help us out of a tight spot, are incredibly sexy traits.
- Touch. I was watching an episode of Friends with my girlfriend the other night. In one of the scenes Joey and Rachel show each other an example of a move that they use on dates. Rachel’s involves touching Joey’s hand. Very sexy! Do that and you will have single dads eating out of the palm of your hand.
Not an exhaustive list, but 8 things that we single dads, or maybe just me, find sexy in a woman. I hope they help you out the next time you find yourself trying to meet or keep a single dad interested.
Do you agree? Let me know what you think.