Category: Divorce

When you have no more to give…breathe. Divorced Dad gives a speech.

When you have given and have no more to give, will you know where to go to replenish the energy you need to keep going?

It has been a while since I posted. Between the end of a semester at work, trying to bring closure to an agreement that my ex had been dragging her feet on to avoid court, my daughter struggling with the impending death of our dog and her mother’s cancer battle, my son’s academic struggles, and my other son’s college application process, Divorced Dad 101 had to take a back seat.

This morning much of this came to a head. I couldn’t decide whether the pain in my chest was a heart attack, remnants of a failed massage last night, or just the stress of being a divorced dad had finally caught up to me in physical form. Breathing was hard.

And tonight I recalled some of my own advice that I had given out to an audience a few years back. I have decided to share it here. A few years back the graduating class at my school invited me to give one of the faculty speeches at their graduation. Copied below is what I said:

Continue reading “When you have no more to give…breathe. Divorced Dad gives a speech.”

5 Tips for Avoiding Restraining Orders During Divorce

It is very common for men in the middle of divorce proceedings to have their first encounter with the criminal court system. At least this is what my ex-wife, a defense gavel-4-1236439-1919x1276and family law attorney, taught me while we were still married. After I filed for divorce I learned about it first hand when she filed a restraining order against me. In my case the restraining order was vacated after a hearing in front of the judge, after 10 days of being separated from my kids. My attorney wife then filed an appeal to that decision, which eventually, after many months of worry and attorney fees, was found to be frivolous by the Appeals court. My ex had used the restraining order process as a strategy in the divorce process. She used it as a way to get concessions within the divorce.

My ex’s actions are not uncommon, and there is no way to absolutely prevent having a restraining order filed against you. As my ex taught me, people can start a court case against you on pretty much anything. It doesn’t mean they will win, but sometimes the filing by itself can get them what they want. Despite this, there are ways to protect yourself from having a restraining order filed against you, and at the very least have a good chance to have it vacated if one is filed.

1.  Don’t be violent. Continue reading “5 Tips for Avoiding Restraining Orders During Divorce”